How Cinderella Could Better Accessorize her Pumpkin Coach

Upgrade Cinderella's Pumpkin Coach

In a perfect world, we’d all meet the man – or woman – of our dreams Cinderella-style. While this scenario pretty much only unfolds on the big screen, a girl or guy can dream – and it’d be far more exciting starting with the pumpkin mobile.

Here’s how Cinderella could better accessorize her pumpkin coach.

Bluetooth compatibility

These days, a soundtrack is key in setting the mood for a romantic evening in with your newest Tinder squeeze. Cinderella basically met Prince Charming on Tinder – she just didn’t have an iPhone. He swiped the shoe and it fit. So there really might be hope for us all.

Cinderella could have totally upped her game by playing some killer soundtracks. For starters, she could’ve used one for her grand entrance to the ball. Who pulls up without any music playing? She was also in dire need of some dramatic getaway tunes for when she ditched Charming to make curfew.

If Cinderella in real life is anything like the gal portrayed in the movies, she’d probably rock out to some Langhorne Slim and Beyonce. She might come across as a classic lady, but her pulled-back hair and laid back ensemble indicate that she’s into some serious folk. Plus, no one cleans the house for that long without tuning into some Bey.

Cupholders Pimp My Pumpkin Coach

No one pulls up to the ball without having pregamed a little. Since Cinderella seems to live in the countryside, there’s likely not a law that states she can’t enjoy a cocktail as a passenger in her pumpkin. Cinderella missed the perfect chance to pop bottles prior to the ball.

Had she done it right, she would have rolled up to that place ready to boogie – none of that shoe business. A few cup holders are the perfect feature to keep the pumpkin coach so that it remains business in the front and party in the back.


Cinderella might have had a few extra minutes to spend with Charming had her pumpkin coach had a GPS that could detect traffic and other delays. Maybe she missed her curfew because she got stuck behind a giant onion truck or a gourd filled with screaming babies. Either way, she missed the mark on this one.

“All it would have taken is one speed bump or stray animal to destroy that pumpkin coach.”

A system that automatically brakes

Had Cinderella’s love story taken place in 2015 and her pumpkin coach been manufactured by Honda instead of the fairy godmother, she would have enjoyed the luxury of a system that automatically brakes. This comes in handy on so many levels. For starters, the body is made of pumpkin, which, in case you forgot, is incredibly easy to carve.

All it would have taken is one speed bump, a stray animal or wrong turn to destroy that pumpkin coach, all of which were prevalent in the middle of nowhere – where Cinderella seemingly lived.

The moral of the story is: If you think you’re going to meet Prince Charming, and you absolutely must ride in a pumpkin, at least do so with some style. Visit to learn how to get your gourds (or cars) insured.

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